day

There are some days in life that are just bittersweet…today is one of those days.

On a sweet note, today is Cindy’s birthday. She is my sister Gerry’s firstborn. Cindy is beautiful with a heart of gold…just like her late Mom. She has an ever ready smile and a wonderful sense of humor. We are always laughing when we’re all together. An amazing pianist and wonderful teacher, she must bless the hearts of the students at the college where she teaches. No doubt, she blesses the hearts of our entire family…just as she blesses mine. Happy Birthday, Cindy! I love you. Wish I could be there to celebrate with all of you!

Love this photo from about 1957. Cindy was almost 5 and I was 12.
(just guessing at the year and ages)

Apparently, I’d propped her up in the car window!

I was a really good baby sitter!

Sadly, today also marks the ninth anniversary of my beautiful sister Dot’s death. She fought a courageous battle against AML (Acute Myloid Leukemia) but Heaven needed her. She had such strength and optimism. She believed in FAMILY more than anyone I have ever known. Dot remembered special days with a card, a note or a call. She organized family reunions and made sure that we all got together. She had a gift for staying in touch. Dot had the burden/privilege of being the oldest…maybe that comes with the territory. As I shared in the previous post, searching for our family roots was Dot’s inspiration and I will honor her by finishing it. She would like that.

How I would love to answer the phone and hear her quip one more time, “Hello! What’s going on besides the rent?” with that smile in her voice. I miss her every single day…but I will see her in Heaven.

I love this picture of my sister when she was about 21 years old.

Today is Father’s Day and my mind is full of memories. I was 45 years old when I lost my Dad at the age of 86. I look back now and realize that forty-five was young to lose my father, but my children would be younger still when they lost their Dad.

Life is precious…and altogether fragile. Five years ago, my children and I came face to face with that fact when their father had a sudden massive coronary; and, at the all too young age of 62, he was gone. He had been the love of my life for forty years…four decades. We’d had a sad ending to our story for after 39 years of marriage, it had ended in divorce. My heart had been broken, but I had loved him still even then. Seven and a half months later, he was gone. I was left with memories and a string of what-ifs. It was an extremely hard time for my children and me. We’d all had so much to deal with in the loss of the family as we’d known it and then a loss so great it would take years to heal. Time helps a little. Over time, pain has a way of softening at the edges.

He was a wonderful Dad and my children miss him so much. I miss him. I’m sad that he never really knew our grandchildren as they got older. That hurts a lot. I try to talk about him when I’m with them. I tell them little ways my son or daughter is like their father. I show them pictures and I tell them about him. I don’t want them to forget him…although they were so young they barely remember him. I’d like to think that somehow he will know it when our newest grandbaby…a precious little girl…is born this September. I love my children so very much and I’m glad he was their father.

He died in the month of April, and that first Father’s Day after his death, there was so much pain and hurt for all of us. I wanted something that would, in a way, be “from him” for our children. For our daughter, I chose the little Willow Tree “Father and Daughter” carving and for our two sons the “Father and Son” carving. I hope each time they look at it, they remember all the good times and the great memories…for there were a lot of those.

I’m in the process of scanning forty years worth of photos…a lifetime. I want each of my children to have a record of our family. It will take me a while but this is important; and I will get it done.

The sixth day of August…

Father’s Day…