Reflections

Saying goodbye…

The last semester of my freshman year was almost over. I had finally accepted the fact that I would have to transfer to a state university there in Memphis for my sophmore year. Financially, there was no other way. I could work through the summer and save enough for my books and tuition and live at home. It certainly wasn’t what I wanted to do, but it seemed the only solution.

Jimmy, Linda, my roommate, and all my other friends pleaded with me to apply for a school loan. Looking back, I don’t know why I didn’t. Perhaps, transferring seemed the “easiest” thing to do at the time, and so I set the paperwork in motion.

It’s odd that I don’t remember how I got home from college those 45 years ago…there were obviously clothes and boxes to pack, but I don’t remember that part. I do remember being sad to leave.

Those were the days before email and instant messenger. So over the summer, Jimmy and I wrote letters. Jimmy also came to visit me several times. He invited me down to visit his family in Florida sometime during that summer, but my parents said no. I suppose it was the distance from Memphis to Florida, for they liked Jimmy. It wasn’t easy being the youngest daughter of overprotective parents.

Fall came and I registered at the university there in Memphis. I had close friends from church who were also going to school there and I would be riding to campus with them. It took several weeks before I began to stop missing my friends I’d been so close to for the past year. I became involved in the Baptist Student Union there and slowly began meeting people and making new friends.

Jimmy had been hurt and upset with me that I wouldn’t at least try to find the funds to return to college there. Over the weeks that followed, we exchanged a few letters, but slowly grew apart. In February 1965, I had a school break and went back to college to visit my roommate and other friends. Evidently, they had told Jimmy that I was coming. I remember seeing him and briefly meeting the girl he had recently been dating in the cafeteria.

After supper, Jimmy came over the dorm and walked me to the campus movie that night. According to the old diary I’d found, we also stopped at the library for some reason on the way over to the movie. Later, after Linda and I had returned back to her dorm about eleven o’clock, Jimmy called. The dorm was situated around an interior outdoor courtyard. The telephone was in an old-fashioned phone booth on the second floor balcony – outside. We talked for a good long while. Jimmy wanted to talk longer, but it was very cold outside and I was freezing. He wanted to come over, but it was past visiting hours in the lobby…remember this was 45 years ago and boys weren’t allowed in the dorm rooms.

I‘m trying to remember if when we said goodbye that night was the last time that we ever spoke…I do believe that it was.

Roses in a fruit jar…

My Southern Heart, Reflections

Spring had come and with it, the warm days that felt like an early summer. The campus was ablaze with color…beautiful pink and red azaleas, flowering dogwood and fragrant magnolias. Yellow daffodils lined the historical brick streets in the nearby town and all the brick walkways across campus.

Everything on campus seemed in high gear. My weekly routine continued to include 18 hours in class, working 15 hours and trying my best to find time to study. I continued in the BSU choir and kept one mission trip a week in my schedule – to the nursing home. Trying to find time to even do my laundry was a challenge, and Jimmy continued to make sure that I didn’t have any “down” time.

We frequently double-dated with his friend Raleigh and Raleigh’s girlfriend. Jimmy was on scholarship and certainly didn’t have much money. He was creative and found interesting places to go that didn’t cost that much…like the zoo, movies and plays on campus, fishing, flying kites. The photo below was taken at the college swim and picnic day at a large nearby lake in late Spring. It was very warm that day and felt more like summer.

One day after work as I walked into the dorm, the student desk clerk said, “you have flowers”. There were a couple of bouquets there – one that closely resembled a funeral arrangement and a beautiful bouquet of wild pink roses. About that time she giggled and said, “yours are the ones in the fruit jar”. Thank goodness I thought. They were beautiful…tiny little wild pink roses…dozens of them. I took them to my room and put them on my desk. I was sure they were from Jimmy and certainly meant to thank him as soon as I saw him.

Two or three days passed and each time we were together, I would forget to mention the roses. That Saturday, Jimmy said he had something special to show me. I was swamped with work and needed to spend the day in the library. One look at his face though, and I said yes. He drove to a little lake surrounded by a grove of trees. It seems I remember hiking a long way around the lake to get there and then he said, “look”.

There it was…an absolutely enormous wild rose bush covered in hundreds of tiny pink wild roses. I’ve never seen anything to compare to that bush since that day. I felt two inches tall. I’d forgotten to say thank you, and he had gone to all this effort just for me. I hugged him and thanked him for the roses. I assured him that I had loved them. He said “I thought you hadn’t liked them because they were in a fruit jar…that’s all I could find”. “That was the best part,” I said.

I learned a hard lesson that day and one I’ve remembered all these years – a gift from the heart is not to be taken lightly…especially if they’re roses in a fruit jar.

Feeling the wind on the end of a string…

Family, My Southern Heart, Reflections

After meeting Jimmy, life on campus changed. He made sure I was never lonely or bored…not that I had time to be bored. With his energy and pure passion for life, he celebrated everything.

One day, not long after we’d met, Jimmy asked me if I’d ever flown a kite. I had to think for a moment, and then I realized that I’d totally missed that experience in my childhood.

“We’ll soon take care of that” he said, and that Saturday morning, he picked me up at the dorm armed with two kites, each with a long tail, and lots of string. It was perfect kite weather…warm with a wonderful breeze. We walked to a large hill behind the campus where he proceeded to attempt to teach me the basics of launching and flying a kite. I’d run as fast as I could and try to get my kite off the ground, and he’d end up laughing at my antics.

Finally, my kite caught an updraft and the wind took it…higher and higher and higher. I felt the strong tug of a kite hundreds of feet in the air and realized what an amazing thing I’d missed as a child.

Meeting Jimmy…

My Southern Heart, Reflections

Classes resumed after Christmas at a furious pace. The professors piled on the assignments making up for lost time. I was struggling in botany and hated it. There didn’t seem to be enough time to get it all done, not with working three hours each day, and I had no choice about that.

Looking back, it seems that my work at the infirmary helped pay for my meals, because I only received a small check once or twice a semester. So, if I received a dollar or two in the mail, which I did from time to time, it was needed and welcomed. For a brief time, I found another parttime job typing for an accountant there just to have some spending money, but that only added to the frustration of not enough time to study. Two jobs and 18 hours was altogether too much and overwhelming.

The occasional outings with the Baptist Student Union were good for me, and I tried to reserve the time for them. I loved going to the pediatric floor at the hospital where the children always made me laugh. Visiting with the women prisoners at the jail was a heartbreaking experience, listening to the stories of their lives and what they had experienced. I had nothing to compare to it, but I listened and hugged them. Somehow, that seemed to help and they welcomed us back each week. My favorite trip was probably to the nursing homes. Never having really known my grandparents, I had a tendency to adopt anyone older than 75. I loved them all, and they were so excited each week when we came for our visit.

The weeks had tumbled quickly by and it was March already…March 16, 1964. We were having a blowing rain storm…the kind that turns your umbrella inside out and wrenches it from your hands. I had managed to get across campus but was pretty soaked and freezing by the time I got to my speech lab. There, we would sit in our little carrels, wearing headphones and listening to difficult vocabulary words, repeating them quietly into microphones. I wasn’t real thrilled with this exercise or too sure of the use of it, but I complied. Sitting there in my little cubicle, I had my sweater wrapped around me, still trying to get warm.

I was quietly repeating the words I heard in the microphone, when I heard these words in my headset: “WHERE have you been?”.

“Huh?” I thought to myself…am I supposed to repeat that?!

“WHERE have you been? I haven’t seen you on campus, and I KNOW I would have seen YOU!”

“Okay, what’s going on?” I thought to myself. I looked up and there in the instructor’s booth was a very handsome young man, looking directly at me and smiling.

“Where would you like to go?” he questioned…speaking softly into his microphone. “I’ll close the lab and take you anywhere you want to go”.

Now that I’m older and a little wiser, I would probably say, “you’ve been watching too many romantic comedies”, but I was eighteen and he was cute!

Jimmy did close the lab class that afternoon, making all the students happy. By that time, the sun had come out and a beautiful rainbow made a timely appearance. We went for a long walk around the campus, and Jimmy pointed out things that had been there all along…but I’d never even noticed. A junior and a speech major, he was from the coast of Florida. He was there on a speech debate scholarship, and he was very good at it. A Methodist ministerial student at a Baptist college, his plans were to go to Duke University after graduation for his masters and to become a Methodist minister.

With a quick wit, beautiful blue eyes and a disarming smile, Jimmy was the proverbial tall, dark and handsome. He invited me to go to a play on campus that night…MacBeth. As I recall, it was a lovely evening…and the start of a close friendship.

Home for Christmas

My Southern Heart, Reflections

The days on the calendar flew quickly by. Thanksgiving had come and gone, and I was looking forward to a nice long break at Christmas. I was tired and “run down”, to use one of Mama’s expressions, after a bout with strep throat and a high fever. I had even managed to spend a few days and nights as a patient at the infirmary where I worked. The Christmas break would give me a chance to rest and catch up on all the school work I’d fallen behind on…not to mention preparing for the finals the week after my return to school. Not the best way to spend Christmas vacation, but I was thankful for the time.

It snowed the day before we were to leave for Christmas break. A deep blanket of white covered the campus. Icicles hung from the chapel and other buildings and weighed heavily on the tree branches. Everything glistened in the bright sunlight. It was a winter wonderland in the deep South. No one had come prepared with boots but we still tromped in the snow, throwing snowballs at one another and basically acting thirteen again. It added to the excitement of going home.

I was riding home with Sandra, one of my friends from Memphis, who was also a freshman there. Her boyfriend Mike had come down to drive us back to Memphis. It seems there was someone else with us on the trip…but I can’t quite remember who it was. I gently remind myself that it has been forty-five years.

It continued to snow all that day, and the roads had turned into a solid sheet of ice. Driving was reported to be treacherous at best. Under normal circumstances, the trip took four hours. We left school about eleven o’clock in the morning right after our last class. It didn’t take long, or very many miles, to know we were not looking forward to this trip. Mike was a good driver but totally inexperienced driving in snow; and now the snow had been packed under a sheet of ice.

I remember vividly that, at first, there was talk and laughter among us on the trip…and then silence as we realized how dangerous it was. We must have only been traveling about 20 miles per hour, but more than once, we slipped and slid totally across the road and into what would have been oncoming traffic…had anyone else been there. We passed dozens of vehicles abandoned on the side of the road or, even worse, wrecked. There were very few stores open and we needed to stop for gas. We also needed to get some food and something warm to drink. Unfortunately, this was before cell phones so we had no way to call our parents or anyone if, indeed, we were to need help.

We finally found a store open and bought some sandwiches and hot chocolate. We also filled the tank with gas. I remember calling my dad collect at that point. He said to find some where to buy chains for the car and that he would pay for them along with the gas. Luckily, we did find a store open and managed to get chains to fit. A little while longer and we were back on the road. The chains did help some, but it was still rough going. Twelve hours after leaving school, we pulled up to my front door. We were all exhausted but glad to be home.

Since that long ago journey, I’ve lived in Illinois and Iowa where it snows a lot. I’ve driven in snow storms and blizzards with white-out conditions. I’ve driven on sheets of ice. Yet, each time I do, I’m transported back in time to a car full of college kids trying their best to get home for Christmas…